i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
