this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
