So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize