We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
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