No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize