I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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