First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Everclear isn't food dammit
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
