Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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