His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize