You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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