I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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