somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
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I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
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I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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