Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
