We should be called the Road Head Warriors
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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