I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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