Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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