Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
