My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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