What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
