I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
