i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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