i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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