It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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