Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
