So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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