it hurts more in the daytime
i can't believe i had my finger in that
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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