Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
