I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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