I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
