I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Can Purell be used as lube?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize