I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
