my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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