We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
