her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Randomize
