but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
