i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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