we're blogging at a bar
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
