What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize