Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
