Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize