the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
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is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
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Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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