hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize