I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
