he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
