YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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