they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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