She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
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How did I end up in the pool?!
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I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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