my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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