y did u give ur computer a hand job?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Damn victory sex feels great
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
