Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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