he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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