Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
