jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude