hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.