How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
