turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize