Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
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I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
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He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.