i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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