Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
